“Wrote this little doodad for The AV Club as part of this list of pop culture phrases AV Clubbers have incorporated into their daily lives, to the great annoyance of our friends and loved ones, no doubt. Shockingly, I pulled out a Buffy reference.
We all want to be the Slayer, but, sadly, I’ve always inescapably thought of my self as the Xander in the Scooby gang of life, the one person in the room utterly overmatched by forces completely out of his control. So Xander’s exasperated response in the Buffy The Vampire Slayer episode “Triangle,” (“That’s insane troll logic!) to an enraged troll’s ultimatum that he choose which of the women in his life—best friend Willow or fiancée Anya—will be smashed to jelly by a giant troll hammer is a code phrase whenever I’m up against irrational, thuggish authority. I genuinely picture Abraham Benrubi in his Olaf The Troll makeup whenever I’m on the phone with Time Warner Cable customer service.