The soul-grinding awfulness of 2016 gives way to the promise of more of the same in 2017. Donald Trump is due to be inaugurated in 20 days, having fulfilled and surpassed even the most pessimistic estimations of how he’d behave. His chosen appointees embody the ugliness, ignorance, and cupidity that are essentially stereotypies of the worst excesses of the Republican party. Trump has engaged a private security force in lieu of the Secret Service, there are emboldened neo-Nazis openly marching against Jewish communities, the press remains shut out and vilified, and, oh yeah, the evidence of Russian interference in the election, Trump’s obfuscation about his finances, and his brazen championing of Putin all point to some seriously, unprecedentedly heinous shit on the horizon.
It’s just after midnight now, and I’m writing this and living with the same, dull, gnawing ache of fear and loathing in my guts I’ve felt since early November. It’s going to be a long, long fucking year and I’m going to have to continue to develop ways to dull the feeling in my guts—and fight this evil, dimwitted, soulless motherfucker. So here goes, 2017.
“Peace in our time/Oh thank you, Herr Hitler…”
Sunday, January 1
—Donated $25 to She Should Run, which supports and encourages female candidates. Trump’s cabinet picks are all nearly all sagging, pig-eyed old white creeps. New blood is most definitely needed, on all levels.
—Petition to make Election Day a national holiday. Weird how the Republicans always want to make it harder for working people to vote, huh? Oh, no it’s not—they know their ideas are shit and the only way they can get enough votes is to suppress poor and minority voters in any way they can.
—Fairly certain I donated $50 to the NAACP. Let me explain. Tried donating $25 twice because the site said it wasn’t going through. Then got an email today from the NAACP thanking me for joining the team. Hmm. Well, I’ll keep an eye on the bank report and, if I did, well, I would have given $50 gradually through the year. If not, I’ll give $50 next month.
—Trump would like to “cancel” the Paris climate accords. God, what an asshole. Petition, telling him not to do that, as it makes him an asshole.
—And another, this one from EarthJustice.
—Petition supporting Keith Ellison for DNC chair. Now is not the time to play it safe. And, frankly, I’ve found the spurious attacks on Ellison to be particularly Trump-esque.
Trump voters in the crowds.
Monday, January 2
—Wrote to Maine Rep. Bruce Poliquin urging him to vote against the Republicans’ most recent shocking bit of corrupt fuckery, weakening the power of the Office of Congressional Ethics and eliminate its independence. Like the recent North Carolina fuckery, this is what the GOP stands for—fixing the game while they can to consolidate power in despite of ethics, American rule of law, or, essentially, any semblance of moral character. Fuck these people and anyone who votes for this.
—Same goes for Maine Senator Susan Collins.
—And Maine Senator Angus King.
Tuesday, January 3
—Called the Washington office of Maine Rep. Bruce Poliquin to urge him to vote against this OCE bullshit. A very nice young man also named Dennis assured me he was voting against it. We’ll see.
—Petition against cartoonishly corrupt Russian puppet and oil-monger Rex Tillerson as Secretary of State.
—ActBlue petition to “hold Republicans responsible,” specifically citing their secret, bullshit power grab (which they withdrew after a LOT of constituent calls and general outrage—for now).
—Hey! The vice president to be of the United States things gay kids should undergo electro-shock treatment to turn them straight! This petition calls out that medieval bullshit.
Wednesday, January 4
—Called Paul Ryan’s office ((202) 225-3031) to protest the GOp’s plan to kill Obamacare. You get about 20 seconds on his answering machine, so heads-up.
—Called Mike Pence’s Indiana office (317-232-4567) for the same reason.
—Fuck incompetent bigot Jeff Sessions petition. Again, paraphrasing Move.org.
—Called Paul Ryan’s very slanted & wordy anti-Obamacare push phone poll. Here’s the number: 608-752-4050. Just press 2 to get to the poll, then 1 to say that you approve of the Affordable Care Act. Then you get a chance to leave Ryan a message. I did.
—Called Susan Collins urging her to oppose the Republican plan to kill Obamacare. Here’s her Washington number: (202)224-2523.
—Petition to tell Republicans to keep their mitts off of marriage equality legislation.
—Keep those anti-Sessions petitions coming.
Thursday, January 5
—Trump has unprecedented business conflicts of interest. This petition says, Hey—why not force him to disclose all that stuff? Crazy, right?
—Petition calling on Democratic Senators to block all Trump appointees. Fuck this collection of bigots, plunderers, and halfwits.
—Petition demanding that said collection of bigots, plunderers, and halfwits release their undoubtedly crooked tax returns.
—Another open letter against Jeff Sessions. The petition said it was going to “my senator,” so I think that mean Collins.
—Called that Paul Ryan survey again the mailbox is full, which I take as a good sign), now that the GO-fucking-P has threatened to defund Planned Parenthood. Fuck them.
—Called Susan Collins to urge her to, somehow, find a spine and oppose the Republicans’ cartoonishly evil plan to deprive poor people and women (and poor women!)
—Petition from Corey Booker to restore the Voting Rights Act, which Republicans oppose because they know their shit ideas aren’t capable of winning Americans’ minds without disenfranchising people of color and the poor.
Friday, January 6
—Called Senator Chuck Grassley’s office (515-288-1145) calling him on his bullshit maneuver of limiting the confirmation hearings on bigoted and incompetent Jeff Sessions as Attorney General. I hate talking on the phone, but the lady at Grassley’s office was very nice before she pretended to pass my message along.
—Sierra Club petition to keep the Koch Brothers and uranium miners from despoiling the Grand Canyon.
—Petition for Simon & Schuster to dump loathsome gay Nazi Milo Yiannopoulos’ book deal. Of course, he’s not loathsome for the gayness—he’s stupid for being gay and throwing in with Nazis who genuinely despise him for being gay. He’s loathsome because he’s loathsome.
Saturday, January 7
—Petition from Wisconsin Senator Tammy Baldwin attempting to close a loophole Trump and his ilk use to avoid paying taxes like the rest of us.
—Twitter. (I’m on mini-vacation and don’t have phone access. Back off, you.)
Sunday, January 8
—Elizabeth Warren’s petition on Trump’s myriad conflicts of interest.
—Senator Kamala Harris’ petition to save Obamacare.
—Petition for NBC to cut business ties with Trump, since that’s just a mammoth conflict of interest when its three networks’ news divisions, you know, cover him and stuff.
—Petition against Sessions—this time focusing on his anti-LGBT bigotry. He’s diverse in that, at least.
Trumpies have spent all day comparing the relative worth of Meryl Streep (who criticized Trump at the Golden Globes) and, say, MMA (which she criticized as well) via relative box office. Which is, well, let’s say Mr. Show is more ahead of its time all the fucking time.
Monday, January 9
—Petition (which gets sent to King and Collins directly) opposing the GOP power grabs that are the Reins and Midnight Rules Relief Acts. Jesus, these fucking people.
—Called Susan Collins’ Washington office urging her to reconsider her support for noted bigot and civil rights enemy Jeff Sessions as Attorney General.
—Leave the Affordable Health Care Act alone, you ghouls.
—Trump lied about Sprint saving US jobs, saying it was his doing. It was not. Like, at all. The head of Sprint contradicted his own spokesperson in saying Trump was right. This is the sort of misinformation (aka bullshit) Trump pulls on a regular basis. Petition calling on Sprint to disavow.
—Petition urging lawmakers to oppose Trump’s Labor pick, Andrew Puzder, a noted opponent of labor laws, overtime pay, workers’ rights, the minimum wage, and an all-around sexist piece of shit.
—Petition calling on President Obama to declassify the CIA report on torture before he leaves office.
—Betsy DeVos is unqualified to be Secretary of Education, not least because she’s a stealth segregationist under the banner of publicly funded charter schools.
—Senator Tom Udall’s petition urging Republicans to leave the Affordable Health Care Act the fuck alone.
—Moveon.org petition calling for all Trump’s thoroughly unethical cabinet picks to be fully vetted by the Ethics Committee.
—ACLU petition (also sent to Collins and King) urging them to grill Sessions on his appalling record on protecting Americans’ voting rights.
—Wrote to the following Republican Senators: Bob Corker (TN), Rob Portman (OH), Lisa Murkowski (AK), Bill Cassidy (LA), and ol’ Susan Collins to applaud their provisional opposition to the GOP’s call for an immediate repeal of the ACA. No doubt they’re getting abuse from Trumpies everywhere, as well as Trump himself. Encouragement. (Plus, their exposure to a good ol’ helping of Trumpies’ simpleminded hatred might just open their damned eyes.)
Tuesday, January 10
—Petition to Jason Chaffetz (or jasoninthehouse Twitter fame—vomit) to examine all Trump’s massive conflicts of interest before he takes office.
Wednesday, January 11
—Spent the last three days in a pain fog from some hideous stomach ailment. I’m not on trial here.
Thursday, January 12
—Wrote pissy email to Susan Collins condemning her for voting with her plutocrat GOP cronies to gut the ACA. Fuck these people.
—Petition that law enforcement must report all deaths in custody to the DOJ. Because why isn’t this mandatory already?
—Petition calling on the White House Press Corps to grow a fucking pair against Trump’s fascist bullying.
—Release your fucking tax returns, asshole: A Petition.
—INvestigate the fact that Trump was aided by Putin. Seriously.
—Against Trump’s clown car of climate change deniers.
—Letter supporting Corey Booker for testifying against Sessions.
—The Twitter. Hey—If you want to see some great coded racism and all-American stinginess, defend health care for poor people on the internet!
Friday, January 13
—Scott Pruitt to head the EPA is a sick, cynical joke.
—Petition supporting the Equality Act, which forces assholes not to be such assholes to LGBT people.
—Tammy Baldwin’s petition to save the ACA, which Republicans are voting to destroy as we speak.
—Another petition from a Senator telling the Republicans to, crazily, not pull millions of Americans’ health care.
—Attempted to call Paul Ryan ((202) 225-3031) and Mitch McConnell’s (202-224-2541) offices to express restrained anger (they’re just staffers on the phone) about their attempts to kill lots of people by repealing the Affordable Care Act. Strangely, both mailboxes are either full or there a busy signal. Leaving these numbers here for easy reference. (Both still out on Saturday. Oh, and now Sunday.)
Donald Trump just attacked John Lewis for Lewis calling him an illegitimate president. Imma leave this here so you can draw your own conclusions about the relative worth of John Lewis and Donald Trump. Oh, and Trump attacked Lewis on the eve of Martin Luther King Day.
Saturday, January 14
—Petition against Trump’s Education pick, the neo-segregationalist Betsy DeVos.
—Against Trump’s Treasury pick, Steve Mnuchin, a Wall Street predator dubbed “foreclosure king.” Swell.
—George Takei-sponsored petition against the unconscionable “Muslim registry” being floated by the Trump fascist scumbag patrol. Fuck these people. Thank you, George.
—LGBT petition calling out Trump and Pence for being homophobic assholes. (Again, paraphrasing.)
Sunday, January 15
—Make Election Day a national holiday. As opposed to the Republicans traditionally putting all their fucking energy into making voting as hard as possible, especially for people of color and those who they know think the GOP is a bunch of vote-suppressing assholes.
—Social justice petition. Sort of a wide net.
Monday, January 16
—Petition telling Trump to not scuttle the Paris agreement before he’s jailed for corruption and being a Russian asset. What, a guy can project forward a little.
—Petition backing Elizabeth Warren’s bill to force Trump to divest from his various businesses and myriad conflicts of interest before he takes office—and then is jailed.
—Petition asking President Obama to somehow safeguard our nuclear arsenal from the whims of a mentally unstable manchild.
—And stop destroying environmental protections while you’re at it, asshole.
—Petition urging all 17 banks financing the Dakota Pipeline to not do that any more.
Tuesday, January 17
Betsy DeVos wouldn’t rule out putting guns in schools. One reason—bear attacks. (The school she cited has come out to call bullshit even on that bullshit.) Oh, and remember satire? That was fun.
Wednesday, January 18
—Open letter to King and Collins not to attend that inauguration.
—Save the ACA.
—Save the ACA.
—Calling out Trump’s choice of anti-gay bigot clergy for his inauguration.
—Petition suggesting the Girl Scouts might not want to march in support of the pussy-grabber.
—Tell the Senate to reject know-nothing dilettante gun nut segregationist Betsy DeVos.
—Oh, DeVos wants guns in schools, too.
—And Ben Carson is a raging homophobe utterly unqualified to be head of HUD.
—Aaand Rex Tillerson, Russian stooge and oil company stooge. A stooge, really.
—Elizabeth Warren, on the other hand, is very cool.
Thursday, January 19
—Sherrod Brown would like people to sign a pledge against hateful Trump-Nazi assholes, so I did.
—More dump DeVos.
—Maine’s Chellie Pingree has a petition telling the Republican’s to leave the ACA the fuck alone. So I signed it. Whee.
—NBC is still using the term “alt-right” instead of, you know, “Nazi bigot scumbags,” so there’s a petition.
—Tweeting and tweeting and tweeting…
And here’s a Nazi being punched in the face. That helps a bit.
Friday, January 20
—Inauguration Day. So, processing that shit, I just set up a $20 monthly donation to the ACLU, to be topped up as needed whenever this shitlord does something especially egregious.
—No Tom Price, please, assholes.
—White House petition to tell Trump to reveal all his tax returns and financial conflicts of interest.
—Protect immigrant children.
—NARAL petition opposing Republicans’ latest attempt to undermine Roe.
—Opposing Jeff Sessions petition. Specifically, this one’s about his gay-bashing, just one of his enduring bigotries!
Saturday, January 21
—Petition to save the ACA.
—Reviewed Saturday Night Live. Plenty of stuff in there to piss of Trump and his acolytes. So that’s a win.
—Same goes for this Newswire about the Putin cold open. Beck Bennett successfully creeps me out.
Sunday, January 22
—Petition for dickhead to divest himself of his businesses, as he said he would and as every other president has done. Dickhead.
—Petition telling Senate Democrats to block bigot Jeff Sessions.
—Tom Udall’s petition to support Roe V. Wade.
—Petition for Jason Chaffetz (jasoninthehouse!) to open an investigation on Trump’s finances.
—GOP white male bigots should really just stop attacking women’s rights, huh?
—Petition calling on Trump to have an LGBT liaison in the White House. Even though I can’t imagine that ever happening.
—Oh, only about 12 hours of Twitter. My eyeballs are bleeding. Weird.
Monday, January 23
—Save the ACA.
—Petition in support of Muslim activist Linda Sarsour, who was an organizer in the Women’s March and, therefore, has become the target of bigots and Trump fans (same diff) online. I hate these fucking people.
—One million hours of Twitter.
Tuesday, January 24
—Petition for idiotboy not to defund the NEA and the NEH.
—Opposing Seth Mnuchin as Treasury Secretary.
—Sent email to Susan Collins urging her (again) to vote against Jeff Sessions. This time I cited Trump’s recent bullshit about voter fraud, something he and Sessions will use to destroy voting rights.
—Signed Michael Ian Black’s White House petition demanding to know what Trump is such a “needy little bitch.” It makes me feel a little better, so sue me.
—Trump lied (again) about millions of fraudulent votes. This petition says, “fuck you, ashhole.” Essentially.
—The usual 12-13 Twitter hours. Sometimes I question the wisdom of working from home all day.
Wednesday, January 25
—Petition against the fucking Republicans trying to ban abortion. Again. Fuck.
—Petition against Trump’s plan to ban immigrant and refugees of a certain religion. Just going to let that fucking fact sink in.
—Called Angus King, found out he’s opposing Scott Pruitt, asked the staffer to thank him.
—Another anti-anti-abortion petition, this one from NARAL.
—Anti-Tom Price for HHS petition.
Thursday, January 26
—Called Angus King to urge him not to vote for Jeff Sessions.
—Susan Collins’ office phone has been unavailable for a few days now. Huh.
—Sherrod Brown has a vague anti-Trump-cabinet petition, so I signed it.
—ACLU petition calling for all documents about Trump’s myriad conflicts of interest.
—Petition from good ol’ Al Franken to protect net neutrality from yet another of Trump’s goons.
—Called Angus King, found out he’s voting against Betsy DeVos, and thanked him. Susan Collins’ office is still mailbox full.
—Twitter. It was my birthday, you bastards, and I spent half of it fighting your racist, moron asses.
Friday, January 27
—Petition for Republicans to not strip necessary, life-saving health care from women because of abortion.
—Sherrod Brown’s petition supporting net neutrality.
—Ha! Trump owns part of the DAPL that he just allowed to start back up again! What an asshole!
—Trump is trying to whip up false support for nonexistent voter fraud in order to kill voting rights. So, don’t do that.
—Called in to Paul Ryan’s ACA poll again. The survey can be accessed by calling either (202) 225-3031 or (202) 225-0600. Wait for the long pause, press 2 to get to the poll, then 1 to support the ACA.
—Sent email to Susan Collins and Bruce Poliquin, asking if they support Trump’s just-announced ban on Muslim immigration. And telling them that we are watching who will come out to oppose it—and who will not.
—Also to Angus King.
—And John McCain. Let’s see if this is one of the issues he decides to have a spine about.
—And Mitch McConnell. Because why not, right?
—Reject Scott Pruitt.
—Reject Betsy DeVos.
—Reject Trump’s Hitlerian Muslim ban, motherfuckers.
Saturday, January 28
—Left message at Bruce Poliquin’s office asking for his stance on Trump’s Nazi Muslim ban.
—Petition to British PM Theresa May urging her to repudiate Trump’s Hitlerian Muslim ban.
—Petition rejecting Trump’s fascist Muslim ban.
—Show us your tax returns, you crooked bitch.
—Another form-letter to Trump about his slime-dripping Muslim ban. I may have jazzed up the text a little.
—Possibly the most Twitter ever since this shitshow started. Which is saying a lot.
Sunday, January 29
—Petition urging Dems to block the hell out of whatever backward-ass toady Trump tries to stick on the Supreme Court.
—Petition from Sherrod Brown opposing Trump’s hateful Muslim ban. I’m all out of adjectives.
—Open letter with over 3 million signatories condemning Trump. Maybe someone will bullet-point it for him.
—Local petition for Portland’s mayor, police chief, et al to make us a sanctuary city.
—Anti DAPL petition.
—Twitter, ’til your eyes bleed. Genuinely had a panic attack online today. So that’s a good sign, right?
—Ignorant fuckhead wants to cut the NEA, NPR, PBS. He doesn’t read fucking books.
Monday, January 30
—Called Susan Collins to tell her to oppose Betsy DeVos.
—Wrote email to Susan Collins urging her to oppose Jeff Sessions.
—Wrote email to Dianne Feinstein on the same topic.
—Wrote email to Lamar Alexander on same. Currently writing to Republican senators who came out (however weakly) against Trump’s Muslim ban.
—Also Bill Cassidy (LA).
—Ben Sasse (NE).
—Bob Corker (TN).
—Jeff Flake (AZ).
—Cory Gardner (CO).
—Lindsay Graham (SC).
—Orrin Hatch (UT).
—Dean Heller (NV).
—James Lankford (OK)
—John McCain (AZ)
—Mitch McConnell (KY)
—Jerry Moran (KS)
—Rob Portman (OH)
—Thom Tillis (NC)
Tuesday, January 31
—Called Susan Collins about Sessions.
—Emailed Collins and Angus King about DeVos.
—All the Twitter. And another goddamned month of this is done.
—Here’s to fucking shit up in February.