Onto month seven and Donald Trump is worse than even I thought. Or, at least—giving him the most drastic benefit of the doubt—he’s done every terrible thing his pre-election apologists claimed he wouldn’t do. Clichés are clichés and all, but, seriously, when someone shows you who they are, fucking believe them. Donald Trump is a dim, racist, megalomaniacal, sexist, tetchy, paranoid, inarticulate, thieving, boorish, power-lusting asshole. Who’s colluded with a dictator to steal an American election. That’s all he’s ever been, and that’s all he’ll ever be.
Honestly, after seven months of this bullshit, if you’re still whooping on the Trump train while tossing shitty American beer cans at brown people, gays, and women, then I genuinely think you’re a bad person. He told you who he was, and, if you hung on hoping that he’d just be the sort of measured conservative you really want only to hop off along the way, then we can talk. If you’re still with this fraction of a man at this point as he actively attempts to undermine American democracy and demonize anyone not exactly like him and his white, wealthy pals and donors, then, from me, go fuck yourself. The fight is on, and you’re not on my side. To it.
Saturday, July 1
—Called the Maine Secretary of State, again urging him to join in the now 27 states refusing to comply with the fraudulent voter fraud commission led by noted bigot and vote-suppressor Kris Kobach.
—Amazon is still advertising on racist conspiracy site and Trump morning toilet-read Breitbart.
—Urging the Golden State Warriors not to come to Trump’s White House for the obligatory NBA champs smile-a-thon. Sure, it won’t change one thing, but you know it would make Trump just tooth-gnashingly insane. It’s the little things.
—The Twitter-war against intellectually dishonest, ill-schooled ignoramuses continues. Like NRA spokesperson and person who never got over being a mean girl in middle school Dana Loesch.
Sunday, July 2
—Wells Fargo is trying to foreclose on a dead guy’s home, all while Trump and his cronies attempt to repeal all regulations on banks doing that sort of thing.
—John Oliver did a long and alarmingly funny Last Week Tonight segment on Sinclair Media Group, which is why your folksy local newscast is gradually turning into a dimwitted mini-Fox News. Wrote about it for the AV Club.
—There’s something called the Disarm Hate Act, which makes the kooky suggestion that those convicted of committing hate crimes should be able to buy guns. Shocking, the NRA is against it, as that would cut heavily into profits.
Monday, July 3
—Another petition about the Trump-Kobach “give your SSN to Russia and steal your votes” commission.
—Trump and his lackeys are bullying the hell out of the press. Respectfully—grow a pair. Get some of that Hunter Thompson in you, media members.
—In his quest to people the US government with the absolute worst people possible, Trump wants author of the CIA “torture memo,” Steven Bradbury, to be general counsel for the Department of Transportation. Yes, Trump is so shitty, I care passionately about the general counsel for the Department of Transportation.
Tuesday, July 4
—Ted Cruz has a plan to save the Republicans’ terrible health care bill. It’s terrible!
—Oregon Democrat Ron Wyden is not happy that Trump is sharing info with Russia, since they’re a brutal dictatorship who stole the election fro Trump and is engaged in ongoing attempts to infiltrate our democracy and all.
Wednesday, July 5
—Aaaand, Trump wants to allow people to just blast sonic air guns underwater in pursuit of… something. Fuck you, whales and dolphins!
—Very few states (like one) have complied with Trump and Kobach’s voter suppression campaign. It should be none.
Thursday, July 6
—Mitch McConnell (in the running for anti-American of the decade) is looking to subvert congressional rules to pass a corporate polluters bill, S 1460, the Energy and Natural Resources Act of 2017. Letter to Susan Collins.
—Congressman Adam Schiff (D-CA) has a petition against the Republican health care bullshit.
Friday, July 7
—Susan Collins has claimed she’s a no on the Republicans’ health care (sorry “health care”) bill. Called to thank her—and, you know, remind her.
—As of today, it appears that only Arkansas is turning over its citizens’ private information to voter suppression asshole Kris Kobach. One too many.
—And another petition on the issue.
Saturday, July 8
—Ted Cruz is looking to make deals on the Republicans’ shitty health care bill now. Since Cruz is about as popular (even with other Republicans) as antibiotic-resistant VD, that doesn’t bode well for the death bill of theirs. Still, a letter to Susan Collins doesn’t hurt.
—Religious bigots are super-hard to discriminate against gay people in housing. Pass H.R. 1447, the Fair and Equal Housing Act.
—Hey, remember how Trump promised a kajillion dollar infrastructure plan? Yeah, he lied. Save Amtrak.
Sunday, July 9
—Another letter to Collins on health care.
—Orrin Hatch (R-UT) wants “input from corporations” on how best to reform the tax code. Psst: They don’t want to pay any taxes, and they’re willing to spend a goodly amount of cash to people like Hatch to represent their money-grubbing interests.
—The Republican Party knows its ideas are shit. That’s why they gerrymander districts to disenfranchise non-white people and others who see through their venal, racist bullshit.
—Petition from VoteVets that the Idiot Manboy In Chief should not be able to launch military action against North Korea. Frankly, there should be a long, long series of checks before this dipshit can use his phone.
Monday, July 10
—Anything called “ACLU vs. Trump” is worth a signature of support. This case is about Trump’s bullshit voter suppression tactics.
—Same goes for Common Cause.
—Hey, the Republicans are all-in on S. 1460, the Energy and Natural Resources Act of 2017. Which, naturally, means it’s a real land-raper.
—You know, gun nuts like Ronald Amidon shouldn’t have any place in the government. Like, not at all.
—Li’l Donnie Trump Jr., now dad’s third-favorite child and falling, admitted that he met with Russian agents specifically to get dirt on Hillary Clinton during the campaign. So, that’s treason. Let’s have the little bastard in for questioning, huh?
—Wrote about Stephen Colbert’s take on Li’l Fredo’s treasonous fuckup for the AV Club.
Tuesday, July 11
—Claire McCaskill isn’t a fan of the Republicans’ health plan. Me neither.
—I’m not a fan of Tweeting at dummies, either. Oh, I do it.
Wednesday, July 12
—Called Susan Collins office, urging her to hold to her opposition to the Republicans’ health care debacle and to spout off about Trump-Russia. Trump’s nominee for head of the FBI is being super-shifty in his confirmation hearing right now about the whole “the president is clearly a traitor” thing.
—It’s Net Neutrality Day, wherein people attempt to stop Comcast, AT&T, Verizon, the FCC, and Trump from fucking up the internet.
—John Oliver popped by to visit Stephen Colbert, and pronounce us “turbo-fucked.” Wrote about it for the AV Club.
Thursday, July 13
—Ted Cruz just released his version of the shitty Republican health bill, which is_wait for it—incredibly shitty. It does however, attempt to buy off GOP senators in key states with baubles and beads and so forth. Angus King isn’t on board and he’s got a petition.
—League of Conservation Voters want King and Collins to protect Maine’s environment from Trumpian land-rape. It’s not like tourism is important to Maine, right?
—Tom Udall prompt on health care, in the form of a thought bubble caption. I used mine to insult Ayn Rand. You have to have fun.
Friday, July 14
—The only doubt I had about signing this petition urging Trump to have a meal with people that have been granted clemency from their prison sentences is that they’d have to watch Trump eat.
—Trump’s war on brown people continues apace.
—If the Republicans’ plan to gut health care to procure massive rich-dick tax cuts doesn’t pan out (and it’s looking shaky, thankfully), Orrin Hatch has another scheme for backup!
Saturday, July 15
—Petition to the convention of District Attorneys calling for opposition to cornpone racist Jeff Sessions’ plan to reinstate the failed mass incarceration drug policies of the past.
—Republicans would like to kill the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, which is as shitty a thing to do as it sounds.
—Trump’s pally and Turkish sort-of dictator Recep Erdoğan loves to jail civil rights activists.
Sunday, July 16
Monday, July 17
—Seth Meyers and the rest of the late night hosts are back, which means so are my always Trump-adjacent AV Club Newswires. Here’s one on Meyers dissecting Donnie Jr.’s bumbling, stumbling admissions of some trust-fund treason!
—Speaking thereof, how about one of those full, independent investigations?!
Tuesday, July 18
—Hey, that pesky Republican effort to repeal, replace, and otherwise dump all over Obamacare appears to be dead. It is dead, actually, with two massive, humiliating defeats this morning and afternoon, but, knowing these sadistic goons, I’m not gonna hop up and down until I’m doing do on the grave containing its holy water-drowned ashes and covered in salted earth. Still—Fuck you, McConnell, Trump, Ryan, Bruce “I hope no one notices me, ever” Poliquin, and the rest of the GO-motherfuckin’-P. Seriously. Here’s a letter to my senators urging them to stab this thing until it is most assuredly dead.
—That being said, let’s move on the fact that in no way should this tetchy manbaby have the ability to start a goddamned war.
—There’s nothing Trump’s hand-picked, unqualified, right-wing dilettante Education Secretary Betsy DeVos likes more than shaming poor kids comes school lunchtime.
—Speaking of DeVos, a big fan of protecting rapists, North Carolina is passing a law saying it’s not rape if the woman says no when you’re all revved up. I’m paraphrasing, but the MRA crowd is feverishly masturbating over this one.
—Keegan-Michael Key resurrected Luther on Colbert last night, and I wrote about it for the AV Club. Catharsis.
Wednesday, July 19
—McConnell, Trump, and the Asshole Gang are determined to force a vote on health care, despite their humiliating defeat yesterday. Now they want to just destroy Obamacare with no plan in place to look out for the—CBO estimated—32 million Americans that would hurt. Kamala Harris isn’t having it.
—Wrote about Samantha Bee just straight-up going piñata on Republican bigot-simpletons Dana Rohrabacher, Louie Gohmert, and Iowa’s favorite white supremacist, Steve King. Wrote about it for the AV Club.
Thursday, July 20
—Stephen Colbert took some of that CBS cash and checked into the infamous pee-pee tape room (allegedly) at the Moscow Ritz-Carlton. Cue the pee-puns, both from Colbert and me, in my write up at the AV Club.
—The Tweets, where all the bing-bongs come out to play their racist reindeer games.
Friday, July 21
—The People’s Platform want my name! I’m not sure what it is, but I gave it to them! This is my life now! Take it, take my name!
—Trump keeps yowling the word “coal” like a code word for “stuff that was good before the gays and the women and the blacks.” He has a horrible new coal plan!
—Ohio botched its last execution, but now, 3+ years later, they think they’ve got it right—so Governor John Kasich is planning to okay a 27-man execution assembly line. Considering that 9 guys who were scheduled to die for crimes they didn’t commit are sending a letter to Kasich, the least I can do is sign on.
Saturday, July 22
—Remember how Trump was all “Hillary is beholden to Goldman-Sachs and I’m gonna drain the swamp and other childish, simplistic catchphrases,” Yeah, Trump voters are even dumber than I thought.
—House Democrats have introduced a “no confidence” motion about the fact that Donald Trump is a dithering, blustering manbaby (not official bill language). It’s meaningless, as is my signature, but let’s do it anyway.
Sunday, July 23
—Another letter to Susan Collins. She’s voting no on the GOP death care bill, but I don’t know what else to do.
Monday, July 24
—Another Trumpcare petition, this one from Martin Heinrich. Just found out that John McCain is coming back from his brain-cancer sickbed to vote on the motion to proceed tomorrow. Will the MAVERICK crawl into the chambers to vote to repeal health care for people with the exact same needs his government insurance is taking care of? Well, you know…
Tuesday, July 25
—Well, the Republicans have passed the motion to proceed on destroying health insurance for tens of millions who desperately need it. All for cash. All for fucking power. This party needs to be burned to the ground. Donated to Jacky Rosen, the Democratic opponent of Nevada Senator Dean Heller, who caved in despite speaking out against the bill just last week. It’s a start. Fuck these monsters.
—Called Susan Collins about health care again.
—Wrote about Colbert on the health care assholery for the AV Club.
Wednesday, July 26
—Woke up to news that draft-dodging bigot traitor Donald Asshole Trump tweeted on the toilet and announced trans people aren’t allowed in the US military any more. It’s a sop to his bigot base, the work of Bannon and Pence, and utterly fucking unconscionable. —Called Susan Collins urging her to speak out.
—And here’s a Change.org petition.
—Called Maine’s bigot-bumpkin Governor Paul LePage, urging him to speak out, as many other, better governors have done, against the GOp repeal effort. He’s human trash, but whatever.
—There’s a right-wing, climate denier group called the US Chamber of Commerce that’s supported, in part by companies like Pepsi, The Gap, and Disney.
Thursday, July 27
—That was a long fucking night. I managed to write this for the AV Club at 3 a.m., after the Republican ghouls failed. Only three of them showed some character, so I give Lisa Murkowski, Susan Collins, and John McCain that. I’m firm but fair. As is Seth Meyers.
Friday, July 28
—Called Lisa Murkowski. Left a message to say thank you. Unsurprisingly, she and Collins are being both ignored in favor of McCain’s showboating and being subjected to a sludge-wave of sexist attacks—some from their own Republican colleagues.
—The Tweets are not getting smarter out there.
Saturday, July 29
—A petition for lots of goals Democrats should embrace! They probably won’t get to all of them!
Sunday, July 30
—I went to the Red Sox game with my mom and little brother. Sue me. Restorative.
—Still came home with a Fenway sunburn to write about John Oliver dismantling the huckster side of loony beanbag Alex Jones for the AV Club.
Monday, July 31
—Trump is grumbling about firing Robert Mueller. Fox News thumb in a wig Sean Hannity is openly calling for Mueller to be fired. That would remove all doubt that Trump is making a play for dictator status at the seven-month mark.
—Speaking of getting shitcanned, adios to The Mooch. Colbert sang him out into well-deserved disgrace. Wrote about it for the AV Club. One sideshow ends, but another monthlong racist, jackass circus continues into August. Onward. Sing us out, Steve.