We made it to April, still as something like a democracy, not annihilated in a hair-trigger nuclear holocaust, and with those of us horrified and righteously pissed off by Trump and his white supremacist cronies’ incompetently evil agenda gaining motivation, and momentum, every day. Trump, on the other hand, isn’t having much fun enacting his racist, gay-bashing, woman-hating, venal bullshit. Let’s go to the tape:
So far, Dipshit has seen:
—The Republican “Trumpcare/Ryancare/Fuckyoupoorpeoplecare” ACA repeal go down in ignominious, very public defeat and humiliation.
—That despite the fact the the Republicans have Congress and the presidency. Still couldn’t get that shit done. Sad.
—Dipshit’s head of National Security, Mike “The Beady-Eyed Evil Scarecrow” Flynn resigned in disgrace because he was in contact with Putin and lied about it.
—Oh, and Flynn is already approaching the many agencies investigating his treasonous activities asking for immunity in exchange for testifying. Against Trump.
—Dipshit just yesterday paid out $25 million to the “ordinary Americans” he defrauded with his bullshit, Ponzi scheme Trump University. yup—the “president” of the United States just paid millions to settle a fraud case against him.
—Dipshit’s racist Muslim ban (which is what it is) is mired in the courts, which are run by educated, thoughtful people dedicated to upholding America’s principles, and not Trump’s army of hypocritical, racist dimwits.
—Dipshit enters April historically unpopular, by any yardstick or standard.
—The White House is leaking like a colander, presumably because anyone there with any shred of dignity or patriotism can’t fuicking believe what’s going on in that place.
—Speaking of, there are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of government positions Dipshit hasn’t filled yet.
—Dipshit’s tiny racist Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, was caught committing perjury in front of Congress about—wait for it—being in contact with Putin during the election.
—Dipshit has systematically insulted and alienated essentially every close ally the US has/had.
—He’s also still tweeting daily like a spoiled, petulant middle schooler with ADD.
—His “Islam expert” Sebastian Gorka has been revealed as a legit Nazi. No, really.
—He demonstrated, publicly, that he has no idea who Frederick Douglass was.
—He lectured a group of women activists about who Susan B. Anthony was, reading off the facts like he was reading from Wikipedia.
—Dipshit has authorized ill-considered military actions that have killed hundreds of civilians (in majority non-white countries, of course), and American personnel.
—He was proven to be lying, pathetically, about the historically tiny size of his inauguration crowd.
—He’s also been called out by essentially everyone on Earth for lying about President Obama wiretapping Trump Tower, about “millions” of illegal immigrants voting for Hillary Clinton, and literally every other damn thing out of his satchel-mouth.
—Dipshit is citing bullshit “prior commitments” so he doesn’t have to hear tens of thousands of Nationals fans boo the shit out him on opening day.
—I’m forgetting a lot. Like, a lot. Go back through the archives of this exercise in sanity-keeping, petition-signing, and general fuck-Trump-ing. It’ll refresh your memory, and, hopefully, inspire some link-clicking and action-taking. It’s April. This asshole’s still in the White House. Let’s do this.
Saturday, April 1
—Demand Progress petition to my senators (Susan Collins and Angus King) urging them to oppose Dipshit’s right-wing, anti-worker, anti-gay, anti-woman SCOTUS pick, Neil Gorsuch.
—Email to King on the same topic.
—PFAW petition against Republican “right to work” laws, which are anti-union, worker-hating, poor-shaming bullshit.
—Petition from Credo Action for the Senate Democratic Campaign Committee to withhold re-election funds to any Democrat who supports Gorsuch.
—North Carolina just “repealed” that bigoted “bathroom bill. Oh, except they definitely did not, instead pushing through a “compromise” that does next to nothing about the anti-transgender bigotry while making a bid for organizations (like the NCAA) to drop their enormously expensive boycotts of the state. Petition to said NCAA.
—Dipshit’s tiny, racist dipshit, Attorney General Jeff Sessions, is targeting “sanctuary cities” taking a stand against Dipshit’s racist immigration crackdown.
—Said wee bigot Sessions is also looking to expand the use of patently evil private, for-profit prisons.
—DGA petition telling Republicans to keep their venal sausage fingers off Medicare and Medicaid.
—Because Dipshit’s hateful bullshit extends to all areas of American life, he wants to cut funding to public transportation. Seriously, fuck this little jerk.
—The Twitter war rages.
Sunday, April 2
—Republicans want to gut the Endangered Species Act. Because, from the largest to the smallest, the GOP wants to blot out all that’s good and pure and kind in this world. No, I am fucking not exaggerating.
—Another Daily Kos letter to Angus King, who’s holding out on announcing his position on Neil Gorsuch or the Democratic filibuster. C’mon, son.
—Dipshit and his grotesque trust fund family are looting the country. A congressman has a plan to at least keep Dipshit from having us pay millions so his 3rd trophy wife doesn’t have to live within 500 miles of him.
—Twitter.
Monday, April 3
—Called Angus King again about opposing Gorsuch/supporting the filibuster. He’s still not saying.
—Tammy Baldwin’s petition against Gorsuch.
—Joe Kennedy is opposing Dipshit’s racist immigrations bullcrap. And Joe is not that crazy, anti-vaxxer Kennedy.
—Bernie Sanders wants to expand Medicare. Sounds good, although if Bernie would stop trying to win over racist white voters while ignoring POC, that’d help me out.
—Twitter.
Tuesday, April 4
—Called Susan Collins, urging her to reconsider her support of Gorsuch and to not vote for the so-called “nuclear option,” which is a term I don’t think we should just throw around any more, considering whose stubby little fingers are on the button.
—The filibuster is on. Petition supporting Jeff Merkley, who’s on the floor now.
—Twitter.
Wednesday, April 5
—Thank you to Merkley.
—Symbolic Daily Kos petition to have all Republicans’ internet histories released publicly, since they just voted to allow ISP’s to sell our private information. You just know a whole lot of deeply closeted GOP bigots would fight this with every fiber of their beings.
—Petition supporting “Sriniva’s Law,” which would urge the Kansas state legislature to take hate crimes in their state seriously. Which they do not.
—Beto O’Rourke is a progressive who wants to take down loathsome man-goblin Ted Cruz. Good enough for me.
—EPA head/grotesque joke Scott Pruitt lifted bans on insecticides that were banned for really good reasons. Petition to get California to just ban ’em all over again.
—Fuckhead wants to murder NPR. Probably because of all the factual reporting and literate programming he can’t understand.
—Cory Booker petition to Mitch McConnell & the other Republican hypocrites not to use the “nuclear option,” also called the “nothing we as a party have ever said means anything” motion.
Thursday, April 6
—Donated ten bucks to Jeff Merkley. Brother filibustered for about 16 hours against the Republicans’ plan to… wait for it… destroy the filibuster. They did. Dude gets the bucks.
—Giovanni Rosales-Mendoza is being deported for no reason.
—Dipshit wants to cut funding for addiction treatment. He shouldn’t.
—Right here in Portland, Trump’s shock troops in the ICE swooped in to grab an asylum seeker while he was in court. Bullshit.
—Mitch McConnell and the Republicans used the “nuclear option,” destroying the filibuster and letting Dipshit’s dipshit SCOTUS pick pass. This petition urges the Democrats to make them pay for every step they try to take from now on.
—Ol’ Bernie Sanders wants to tax Wall Street to provide free college for everyone. Sure, why not.
—Bill O’Reilly should be going down any time now, as most of his advertisers are pulling out in the wake of even more sexual misconduct lawsuits and allegations. Some haven’t.
—Twitter.
Fuckhead, facing approval/disapproval of 35/55%, lobs a few Tomahawk missiles at a purposely empty (of Syrians and Russians) air field. The press whips out the pretty war graphics and theme music & politicians all fall in line. I mean…
Friday, April 7
—Dipshait launches some missiles into Syria without congressional approval. He did, however, apparently warn Syria and Russia so nothing of value would be disrupted or destroyed. #TrumpRussia ain’t going away, Dipshit.
—Like John Ossof in Georgia, a Democrat named James Thompson in Kansas is looking to flip a special election. Gave him five bucks.
—Twitter. So much Twitter.
Saturday, April 8
—The NCAA is using North Carolina’s sham repeal of the bigoted “bathroom bill” as cover to allow some sweet, lucrative games to come back to the state. Petition to let them know that they’re not fooling anyone.
—PFAW open letter to Mitch McConnell and the Republicans calling out their power-grab in using the “nuclear option.”
—Credo Action petition about Dickhead’s budget, which, among other patently evil things, would defund the NIH to pay for his bullshit Game of Thrones wall for white scaredy-cats.
—SNL was back, which means so was I, reviewing the episode and analyzing how the show keeps leaning on Alec Baldwin’s increasingly bland and lazy Trump impression. Still, “Keep eating the finger-chili” is pretty solid, in context.
—Still, trotting out a second Baldwin-as-Trump alongside a Baldwin-as-Bill-O’Reilly sketch is another example of a mediocre impressionist (but huge star) stealing the show out from the cast. Double-still, fuck Bill O’Reilly, whose most recent sexual harassment scandal sees his advertisers running en masse. Which is fun, don’t get me wrong, although all these sponsors were fine paying this prickless dick millions to spew his racist, sexist bullshit. For years. Pretty funny sketch, though. even if Baldwin, as noted, can’t do an O’Reilly.
—Twitter.
Sunday, April 9
—Speaking of Bill O’Rapey, his sponsors are fleeing. Here—let’s nudge that along.
—Tom Udall, calling out Trump’s glaring, cartoonish corruption with regard to his companies and his still-unreleased taxes.
—Care2 petition supporting the Immigrant Worker Protection Act. Which sounds like something America really fucking needs right now.
—Fire Steve Bannon. Seriously. Dude shouldn’t be able to get into the White House as a tour visitor.
—Twitter.
Monday, April 10
—MoveOn.org petition calling on Google to stop dealing with neo-Nazi propaganda site (and former home of a whole lot of Trump’s cabinet, because they’re Trump’s only friends), Breitbart. #ChokeBreitbartOut
—The EPA is being run by Trump’s hand-picked corporate stooge, Scott Pruitt. Coincidentally, the EPA seems to be in collusion with chemical poison pals Monsanto.
—Speaking of, here’s an open letter sent to Chellie Pingree, Susan Collins, and Angus King telling them to hold Pruitt (the corporate stooge) accountable.
—The DLCC wants me to pledge to help elect every Democrat in sight in the next Maine legislative elections. I am genuinely fine with doing that.
—Twitter.
Tuesday, April 11
—Deray McKeeson has a new website called Ourstates.org that’s a helpful tool in fighting Trump’s bullshit, state-by-state. Sure I’ll be making use of it.
—Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson wants to execute every prisoner on his state’s death row because the state is running out of lethal injection drugs? Like, in a hurry? Seems like a typically blunt and brutal solution from a Republican.
— NILC Immigrant Justice Fund petition against the most xenophobic and patently shitty aspects of Dipshit’s proposed budget.
—This administration/shitshow is laughably blatant about selling out worker and consumer safety for cash. Petition, etc.
—Spineless Republican lickspittle Devin Nunes has gotta go.
—Twitter.
Sometimes you just need to feel this in your brain when things get ugly.
Wednesday, April 12
—The Chechen government is straight-up rounding up gay people, imprisoning them, and most likely torturing and murdering them. Mike Pence would be proud, but Amnesty International sure as hell ain’t.
—Dipshit’s press secretary, Sean Spicer, is not good at his job. Which is speaking. And communicating ideas. Was yesterday’s disastrous press conference, where he minimized Hitler’s gassing of millions of Jews (and reference to—wait for it—”concentration centers”) a mere gaffe or yet another white supremacist dogwhistle from this deplorable administration filled with blatant bigots? Dunno. But he’s gotta go.
—Also yesterday, an Asian doctor was bloodied and manhandled when he refused to give up his paid-for seat on United. Not specifically Trump-related, except that the cellphone-captured incident is capitalist greed and brutality at its nakedest. Oh, and United went on to half-apologize while a suspicious number of victim-shaming stories were fed to the media. The CEO’s gotta go.
—North Carolinian Dontae Sharpe has spent 22 years in prison for a crime he pretty clearly didn’t commit. In a country where Jeff “Fuck police reform” Sessions is Attorney General, cases like this need all the attention they can get.
—An insurance company wants to take away a little kid’s MS drug. Because insurance companies are just plain evil.
—Twitter.
Thursday, April 13
—Dipshit O’Evilton, after his/Paul “Equally Evil” Ryan’s attempt to repeal Obamacare failed so miserably, is threatening to scuttle the Affordable Care Act through sleazy backdoor channels. Which means, of course, that millions will be hurt if not killed while he attempts to strongarm Democrats. Fuck. This. Clown.
—Chechnya still rounding up gay people into literal camps. Mike Pence secretly thrilled.
—Florida police zeroed in on the protestors against Trump at a rally after a Trump thug started a fight. Shocker.
—Martin Heinrich’s petition telling off his colleagues (the Republican ones, anyway) for selling off our internet privacy.
—It’s wordy, but The Improving Access to Affordable Prescription Drugs Act (sponsored by Al Franken) is a fine thing.
—Asshole and the Keystone pipeline: a petition.
—Dipshit eliminated a rule forcing financial advisors to look out for the best interests of their clients. I’m just gonna leave that one there.
—Twitter.
Friday, April 14
—Remember when that caretaker of a mentally-disabled man got shot? The one who was lying on his back, with his hands in the air, yelling “Don’t shoot?” And then he got shot? Yeah, the cops who shot him are on administrative leave. They should get fired. Oh, the caretaker was black. You probably figured that out already.
—The rich, entitled scumbag currently in the White House is literally looking to take food out of the mouths of the children of illegal immigrants. Not figuratively.
—Bloated bigot-slug Steve Bannon lost his place on the NSC (which he shouldn’t have had in the first place and which he seems to have gotten because Dipshit didn’t realize he was authorizing it). He should be fucking fired altogether.
—Twitter.
Saturday, April 15
—Busy family day. Rushed home in time to review Saturday Night Live, which featured Jimmy Fallon and was about as watery on Trump as that’d make you expect.
—Melissa McCarthy came back as Sean Spicer. It was fine. Wrote about that, too.
Sunday, April 16
—Dipshit wants to kill Social Security for nothing but personal gain. Genuinely out of ways to describe the evil bullshit at this point.
—Jeff Merkley wants Dipshit’s taxes. So do I. And no one’s paying anyone to want this.
—Hypocritical sexist scumbag (you know, Dipshit) is a noted serial sexual abuser. He’s also proposing cuts to the Violence Against Women Act. Again. No fucking words left.
—Twitter.
Monday, April 17
—On the last day before the Georgia special election, donated another $25 to Jon Ossoff’s campaign. Allowing myself to hope here, mister.
—Dipshit is trying to keep the White House visitor logs secret. I mean…
—Democrats have just introduced a (doomed) Constitutional Amendment to end big-money slush fund Citizens United. I signed in support anyway.
—Twitter.
Tuesday, April 18
—Dipshit keeps nominating bigoted dipshits. This time it’s proposed Army secretary Mark Green, a major anti-LBGTQ bigot.
—Dipshit wants to pull out of the Paris climate accords.
—Republicans’ anti-democratic poison is seeping into Maine. Petition urging lawmakers to oppose any attempt to criminalize peaceful protest. Which really shouldn’t have to be debated in fucking America.
—Twitter.
Wednesday, April 19
—Dipshit and his cronies are dying to sell off our privacy online. Guarantee Trump’s search history is all “Russian Lolitas,” all the time.
—Dipshit wants to build his moronic Game of Thrones wall right through a National Park, just because it wasn’t evil enough already.
—Twitter.
Thursday, April 20
—Petition to bring DACA-recipient Juan Manuel Montes back from Mexico, where he was deported by Dipshit for no fucking reason.
—It’s only Republicans who keep trying to keep people from voting. I wonder why that could be.
—Dipshit wants to erase all LGBTQ people from the next census. I wonder why that could be.
—Dipshit is instructing his ICE shock troops and others to illegally steal people’s cell phone information at the border. I genuinely hate these people.
—Spineless partisan enabler Jason Chaffetz is fleeing his post, his office, and hey, maybe the country, according to sources. Can’t wait for that to pan out. In the meantime, petition for members of congress to reopen and reinvigorate the investigation (that Chaffetz was ineptly stonewalling) into #TrumpRussia.
—There are rumblings that Dipshit and Paul “Also a Dipshit” Ryan are thinking of reviving their grotesquely cruel healthcare repeal. As much fun as it’d be to relive their disastrous defeat on the issue, enough’s enough, assholes.
—Chechnya is still rounding up gay people. Putin says “nuh-uh,” Trump isn’t saying shit, Mike Pence has a secret shame-erection. There’s another international petition.
—Dipshit keeps the streak going, nominating anti-gay bigot Mark Green to be Secretary of the Army.
—Dogwhistle or incompetence, Sean Spicer’s whole “Hitler wasn’t so bad” nonsense should have him on the street.
—Twitter.
Friday, April 21
—Trump’s seeping swamp of bullshit is lapping at Maine’s doors in the form of Republican (shocker) bigot Larry Luckman, who wants Portland police to joining Dipshit’s ICE deportation assholes.
—Twitter.
Saturday, April 22
—Dipshit is planning to despoil the Great Lakes like a massive spray-tan spill.
—Kamala Harris has a more general petition to oppose Dipshit’s assault on the environment.
—Angus King asking for signers to tell Dipshit that climate change is real.
—Twitter.
Sunday, April 23
—Emily’s List petition opposing Gorsuch, urging women to get elected to office and basically save us.
—Twitter.
Monday, April 24
—Dipshit wants to loot Social Security.
—That dickhead gun fetishists the NRA wants it is reason enough, but the “concealed carry reciprocity” bill is terrible and irresponsible. Even for them.
—There’s a group called Real Alternatives that does that super-shitty thing where they lure vulnerable pregnant women in and lie to them about abortion. Oh, and they stole tax money.
—Disenfranchising felon voters is inherently a race-based policy.
—Amazon is still advertizing on racist, sexist, totally Russia-funded Breitbart. There’s an organization called Sleeping Giants that’s doing fine work in getting advertisers to drop them.
—Dipshit lobbed some big bombs. Media went into “sell the big ‘splosions” mode.
—Dems (and Bernie Sanders) have been sending out whimpers that they’re flexible on reproductive choice. Just, no.
—Twitter.
Tuesday, April 25
—I’ll level with you, this was a long, long day where I spent most of my time writing a fill-in review for this week’s episode of The Americans. So here’s that! I’m not on trial here.
—Did some Twitter, though.
Wednesday, April 26
—Called Bruce Poliquin to urge him to oppose the GOP’s latest attempt to replace Obamacare with their own, greedy, heedlessly cruel plan. This one’s even worse. Seriously.
—Dipshit refuses to release his taxes (for a variety of reasons) but is proposing a tax plan that will benefit really rich people. Um, no fucking way.
—Care2 petition against Dipshit’s plans to open all our national parks to his land-rapiest pals.
—Twitter. The fighting.
Thursday, April 27
—Some family medical emergencies. Although I did call Poliquin’s office again, right before the Republicans slunk away because they are even more unpopular in their fight to destroy healthcare than they were the first time. Classist, racist, cruel and cowardly—That’s the GOP!
—And nothing can keep me from pissing of the right people on Twitter.
Friday, April 28
—Climate change, despite Dipshit and his hand-picked Dipshit Scott Pruitt say, is real.
—Dipshit and his band of dead-eyed bigots continue to circle right around outright Holocaust denial.
—TrumpRussia. Investigate. Seriously, Congress.
—Democrats, Dipshit is flailing. He’s weak. This bullshit Game of Thrones wall is childish, racist, un-American nonsense. Fight.
—Sherrod Brown would like Congress to bring down prescription drug prices. Okey-dokey.
—Twitter.
Saturday, April 29
—The Republicans want to murder the Endangered Species Act. Because of course the fucking do.
—Dipshit wants to despoil National Parks. Because of course he does.
—Dipshit wants to deregulate the banks. Because he’s a shameless greedhead and it worked to great the last time.
—Dipshit wants to kill net neutrality. Because there’s a buck in it.
—Self-proclaimed futurist Elon Musk is serving as an advisor to Dipshit, who doesn’t believe in science.
—Twitter.
Sunday, April 30
—Dead-eyed southern racist stereotype Jeff Sessions says marijuana is essentially just as bad as heroin. And, again, I guarantee he’s called it “mary-juwana” more than once.
—Handy tool to contact your reps to urge them to vote against the GOP’s latest, even crueler health care repeal plan. Strangely, Maine’s Bruce Poliquin has not entered an opinion as yet. Weird…
—And, closing April out with some dickishness close to home, Portland is considering shunting the city’s homeless to an abandoned industrial park. It’s remote.
—Aaaaaand, Twitter.
—Next.
...a good Gordon, Gordon 