Almost a month in, and, yup, the Trump cabinet—and Trump himself—is as bad as everyone imagined. Homophobes? Literally every single proposed member so far. Islamophobic bigots? You better believe it! Enemies of voting rights, civil rights, women’s rights, climate change deniers, Goldman-Sachs cronies—pretty much the most predictably awful candidates who’d be laughed out of any respectable government not run by a cretinous, utterly unqualified boor with pretensions to Putin-esque dictatorship. I’m still angry, dispirited, and disgusted. And as tempting as it is to trail off and hide, I’m starting a new month of actions—no matter how puny and insignificant they, and I feel—dedicated to fighting this rising tide of ugly, bigoted bullshit every step of the way. To it.
Thursday, December 1
—Petition to get Facebook to add voting reminders for state and local elections. Fight local.
—Petition for Senators Collins and King to oppose Steven Mnuchin for Treasury Secretary. Here’s why.
—Petition to investigate Trump’s massive web of conflicts of interest before, you know, he can actually start plundering the entire country for his own sleazy benefit. Here’s info on that.
—Petition for lawmakers to reject Trump pick of anti-choice asshole Tom Price for Health and Human Services Secretary. Here are the reasons. And here.
—Donated to ProPublica. Trump and his pinheads operate in a world that denies facts and truth. ProPublica is a non-profit investigative organization that does a good job defending same.
—Another anti-Tom Price petition. This time from a Senator who might actually do something about it.
—Twitter. I keep trying to limit the number of retweets and other outraged stuff I throw out there. I don’t know why exactly. A friend chided me for it last night, I can only imagine how tired my family is of it/me (they go automatically to my Facebook page). The urge not to be a stereotypical boor is warring with the momentary release the idea that I’m doing something gives me. The war goes on. (I think I kept it under 10 today.)
Friday, December 2
—Petition to urge President Obama to declare Standing Rock a national monument. Again, not Trump-related per se, but anything dealing in fairness and decency is inherently anti-Trump.
—Another Standing Rock petition, this one to the Army Corps of Engineers.
—Petition. Trump is an anti-choice neanderthal.
—Petition for Trump to stop trying to undermine the first fucking amendment. Jesus.
—Went to a racial justice event at Portland’s SPACE Gallery. Talked to a few people, joined a few mailing lists. It was fine. If I was disappointed, it’s because of a misconception that this would be more of a mobilizing, action-oriented event rather than well-meaning people sitting at tables, gathering signatures. Oh well, got out there. The Maine ACLU is going to be in touch about volunteering opportunities. Next.
—Email to Susan Collins and Bruce Poliquin basically just mocking Trump and the GOP’s willingness to countenance today’s most dangerous piece of incompetent, crooked buffoonery yet! We’re all going to die! Here’s how!
—Petition from the Working Families Party (with whom I am not familiar) basically saying “we don’t like you, Trump.” I really don’t like Trump, so I signed, no problem.
A jury today couldn’t return a verdict against white cop Michael Slager for shooting unarmed black man Walter Scott, despite the fact that Scott was running away, the case only went to trial because a bystander filmed it, and, oh yeah, Slager planted evidence and lied about trying to revive Scott before EMTs arrived. There’s apparently a lone juror adamantly refusing to convict a white cop. (UPDATE: Of course. The lone juror flat-out stated he wouldn’t convict a cop. Mistrial. 11-1 for conviction. Going to be retried. Fuck this country. For real.)
Saturday, December 3
—Another petition, this one to Trump, basically telling him we the undersigned think he’s being a prick. (I’m paraphrasing.)
—Wrote my Saturday Night Live review which, naturally, meant a lot of writing about Trump, as Alec Baldwin’s still putting on the orange. I’m counting this one—man, I write these ’til 5 in the morning and I guarantee this is read infinitely more than anything else I do. But no pressure.
—Also counting the Newswire piece I did on the cold open where SNL mocked Trump for tweeting nonsense while he supposed to be attending intelligence briefings. Naturally, Trump tweeted his thin, orange-skinned displeasure at the show mocking him. On Twitter. During the show. Can’t make this shit up.
From the same episode. The world could use more well kids right now.
Sunday, December 4
—I’ll buy some unnecessary Kellogg’s products if it helps offset Breitbart racists’ bullshit boycott. Hello, Mini-Wheats. (Still planning to find a food bank to donate a shit-ton to. More later.)
—Signed thank you letter to President Obama for halting the DAPL. Credit where it’s due.
—Another fire your racist, rape-y uncle Steve Bannon petition.
Monday, December 5
—Petition to Paul Ryan to keep his hands of Medicare. My parents would like to live, thanks.
—Petition to investigate Donald Trump for… well, a lot of stuff, really.
—Petition to the DA who’s declining to charge the (white) killer of a black man in a road-rage incident.
—Donated another $15 to Foster Campbell’s Louisiana Senate campaign. He can take another Senate seat for the Dems. Gonna need every one.
—Hail Mary save from the electors? Sure, why not.
—General anti-Trump petition from Oregon lawmaker Jeff Merkely. Sure.
—Petition to end right-wing slush fund Citizens United.
—Twitter.
Tuesday, December 6
—Moveon.Org petition to tell GOP “leaders” to lay the fuck off of Medicare.
—Twitter.
—Letter to Ohio GOP Governor John Kasich, urging him to veto a bullshit “heartbeat” abortion law.
Wednesday, December 7
—Sent letter to Kasich via his official government website.
—Signed letter from Ohio Senator Sherrod Brown attacking Paul Ryan, etc, over stripping a “buy American” manufacturing bill.
—Petition from Credo Action urging lawmakers to fight against the nominations of Trump’s, as they put it, “terrifying” and “crony” cabinet. Both are accurate.
—Signed petition from Al Franken telling Paul Ryan to not gut Medicare.
—Called John Kasich’s office (thankfully getting the answering service, as talking to humans on the phone makes me queasy), urging him to veto this bullshit anti-choice bill. (614) 466-3555
—Donated $20 to Grand State, a new, Maine-based media startup from, among others, Alex Steed, who’s as good a journalist as they come.
—Petition to save some damned tigers, because people are greedy fucking assholes.
—Petition from the Environmental Defense Fund protesting climate change denier and oil company shill Myron Ebell from being put in fucking charge of the fucking EPA. Jesus.
—Twitter. Just for about 13 hours or so.
Thursday, December 8
—Petition to end the right-wing slush fund Citizens United.
—Donated $15 to the National Democratic Training Committee. They’ve been sending me petitions, polls, and appeals for cash for so long, I finally caved.
—Petition from the Sierra Club, basically urging King and Collins to keep Trump from turning our nation’s environment into an Atlantic City landfill.
—Petition to have the party leaders “fix the primaries.” Sure.
—Petition to audit this shitshow of an election.
—Petition from the ACLU asking President Obama to dismantle the NSEERS program, which is the most likely way Trump and his bigoted cabinet can start a registry of Muslim American citizens. Which is something they are planning to do. Which is not a joke. Which is something I plan to reiterate until people get how fucking un-American that idea is.
—Sent postcard to Susan Collins essentially pointing out that Trump’s proposed cabinet is a clown car of dangerous racists, crackpots, cronies, and right-wing extremists.
—Signed NARAL petition urging cretin Donald Trump to dump racist cretin Steve Bannon for also being a sexist cretin.
—Petition opposing Sarah fucking Palin as Interior Secretary? I would legitimately not trust Sarah Palin to run a Cracker Barrel franchise.
—Called John Kasich’s office again. Another message to veto the bullshit “heartbeat bill.” And remember, this jerk is the “reasonable” Republican alternative. #(614) 466-3555.
—Signed letter from Oregon Senator Ron Wyden denouncing racist woman-hater anal wart Steve Bannon.
—Goddamned Twitter, all goddamned day.
Oh, I’m fine. Why do you ask?
Friday, December 9
—Sierra Club petition to close the Arch Coal Loophole, which is something that will despoil the environment. One hates to bother President Obama at this point, but there’s still work to be done, son.
—Petition to reject Scott Pruitt for the EPA head. Call me crazy, but someone who’s currently suing the EPA because he a climate change denier is a fucking nightmare clown scenario, right? Is it just me?
—Another Sierra Club petition putting pressure on Citibank, Wells Fargo, and other big banks to not fund the Dakota Access Pipeline.
—Open letter in my name from the Environmental Defense Fund to my representatives announcing that I’m watching how they fight Trump’s cynical, world-dooming environmental policies.
—Petition to prosecute Trump for the multiple and varied illegal and shady activities he’s already committed, and which the Republican Party suddenly seems awfully disinterested in.
—Fuck fracking.
—Called John Kasich again. Fuck you, Ohio.
—Another petition to Kasich—there are not one but two shitty abortion bans on his desk it turns out—this one from the ACLU.
—Called Senator Lindsey Graham (202) 224-5972 and Senator John McCain (202) 224-2235 to say thank you for their announced intention to investigate the Russian interference with the election. I made clear that I am no Republican, but that i salute their intentions. Maybe I’m just feeling the need to throw some positivity out there for a change (and especially on a very, very shitty day, personally), but those standing up to the bullying, petty Trump machine need support as well.
—Signed a petition from NY Senator Karen Gillibrand opposing decomposing chicken nugget bigot and misogynist Steve Bannon.
—So much fucking Twitter.
As if lovely, nuanced debate meant anything.
Saturday, December 10
—Wrote my Saturday Night Live review, which I continue to count. Analyzing comedy about Trump wipes me out about as much more than tweeting about Trump equal to the number of people who are going to read the thing. People yell at me in the comments. Counts.
—Newswire was a Trump, too. Counts.
—So much fucking Twitter, again. Several arguments with Trumpies I let go on longer than I knew was wise.
Sunday, December 11
—Petition to get the EPA to uphold emission standards. You know, before it is gutted in a corporate purge.
—Petition to stop Exxon exec Rex Tillerson—who’s also super-tight with Putin!—from being named Secretary of State. Ha ha ha—we’re doomed!
—Petition to keep an asshole coal company from further despoiling the Great Barrier Reef. Sure, not specifically trump-related (although how can you know, since Trump refuses to release his taxes), but, again, any move toward truth and beauty is a move against that piece of shit.
—Petition urging Democrats to filibuster all Trump’s inevitable and inevitably horrifying Supreme Court picks. Time to play motherfuckin’ dirty.
Monday, December 12
—Change.org petition to abolish the ban on students with drug convictions recieving edicational aid.
—Petition for the CIA to release all information about Russian hacking of the presidential election. Like, now.
—Petition to give the electors all information about Trump and Russian hacking before they vote.
—Petition for Trump to, you know, actually attend the intelligence briefings he needs to do the job he’s woefully, terrifyingly unqualified and unprepared for.
—Another petition to Kasich to veto the hateful abortion bills sitting on his desk.
—Sent email to Trumpie Congressman Devin Nunes, expressing my disgust that he doesn’t support investigating the Russian election shenanigans.
—Open letter to thank Bernie Sanders for being such an ornery old cuss.
—Sierra Club petition confirming commitment to fighting Trump on the environment and women’s rights.
—And the Twitter.
Tuesday, December 13
—Petition. Investigate Trump & Russia. Seriously.
—And a different one.
—Signed Jeff Merkley’s petition opposing Wall Street preyer-of-misery Steve Mnuchin as Treasury Secretary.
—Prisoners deserve medical care. Even in Iran. Again—anything advocating for justice and decency is inherently anti-Trump. Counting it.
—Petition rejecting Tillerson from Senator Chris Murphy.
—Donated to NARAL, partly in response to John Kasich signing the 20-week abortion ban, a calculated step toward challenging Roe V. Wade. Fuck that guy. Also, NARAL donations are matched until the end of the year, so only felt half bad about how little I have left to give.
—Al Franken petition to urge the GOP Senate to do their damned job and not block President Obama’s Supreme Court pick. This will do nothing, but I can only hope Al’s got some sort of long game here.
—Donated ten more bucks to Alex Steed’s Grand State Kickstarter, mainly because the paper wouldn’t take my pitch to do a story on it. Never underestimate guilt when trying to motivate me.
—Signed Senator Tammy Baldwin’s petition to support LGBT rights from the bigoted scumbags gearing up to scare other bigots with stories of men in little girls’ bathrooms.
—Wrote to ABC News suggesting that their nightly news prioritizing Kanye West’s meeting with Trump is the sort of superficial bullshit that got us in this crap-cauldron in the first place.
—The Twitters.
Wednesday, December 14
—Another petition, another shitty pipeline.
—Another petition against comically corrupt Russian puppet Rex Tillerson.
—Petition from Kamala Harris telling the GOP to lay the fuck off of Medicare.
Sent email to the North Carolina GOp which is attempting to steal power from the incoming Democratic governor in a special session. Despite trying to steal the election in the first place.
—Sierra Club against Tillerson.
—Twits.
How I imagine myself facing down this horseshit. I’m not quite there yet.
Thursday, December 15
—Called the North Carolina GOP HQ to express outrage over their bullshit. Actually, the phone was answered by a very nice-sounding African American lady named Ayesha, so I addressed the issue in slightly confused politeness. Still, message sent. And, as ever, I would rather smack myself with a frying pan than talk to strangers on the phone.
—Petition for people to stop massacring other people in Aleppo.
—End Citizens United petition.
—Called the US Attorney General’s office calling for the Justice Department to postpone electoral college vote until a full investigation of the Russian and GOP election shenanigans is completed. (202-514-2000)
—And a petition from incoming NC Governor Roy Cooper, calling the NC GOP on their bullshit fuckery.
—NARAL petition calling on Oklahoma anti-choice fuckwits from forcing businesses to put up anti-abortion propaganda in bathrooms. Related: Anti-choice forces are fucking children.
—Hey, tech companies. Helping Trump build a nation registry for all members of a religious community is pure fucking evil. Don’t do that.
Break glass in case of crippling, life-threatening depression. MST3k saves lives.
Friday, December 16
—Petition for NBC to (re)-cut ties with Trump, who is going to be producing fucking Celebrity Apprentice while in office? This after NBC famously (and briefly) cut ties with Trump for being a racist pig, something which only mattered, apparently, when they thought he wouldn’t win.
—Odd. Tried calling the NC GOP again. Same number I got through to before. Now the recording for the HQ picks up, but then transfers to a messaging service where the operators say the number has been “discontinued.” Also called the NC general assembly, where they have no new info and can’t take a message for the GOP if you’re from out of state. So, frustrating. Ideally, they cancelled the humber because they’re getting flooded with pissed off citizens, but I don’t know.
—Wrote to one NC GOP Rep. Bert Jones (as he was quoted in a NYT story as supporting this coup). By the way, the NC GOP site is now now displaying its members contact info in any way. Could be a glitch. Hoping for chaos.
—McCrory just signed the bullshit. Sent him an email. Feels like the useless shit it is.
—Another “yes, Donnie, science is real” petition.
—Email to Maine bigot-bumpkin Governor Paul LePage decrying his mini-fascist move to disregard the recently voted-in minimum wage law for Maine restaurant workers. Also told him to watch out for the guaranteed spit in his food.
—Donated $25 to the ActBlue Democratic Governor’s Association in North Carolina. Apparently, gifts are being doubled at the moment, so that’s good. Because fuck those fucking people.
—Open letter thanking Elizabeth Warren for being a fucking badass.
—Maine-based petition against LePage’s attempt to be a li’l mini-dictator.
Eating not recommended before watching or listening to Paul LePage.
Saturday, December 17
—Petition to postpone the electoral vote until all information about Russian interference (and Trump knowledge thereof) is presented. Never going to happen. Strap in, folks. This shit’s about to get ugly.
—Show your motherfucking tax returns, Trump.
—The Tweets.
—The weekly Saturday Night Live review, where I no doubt pissed off many people. So that’s a win for me.
—Same thing for the Newswire, which highlights the best, most pointed sketch of the night—and also pissed off the right people. Here it is:
Sunday, December 18
—Petition supporting Elizabeth Warren. Shit, I forget what it’s for. Man, I’m fucking exhausted, but EW knows her shit.
—Petition from Tom Udall to end right-wing slush fund Citizens United.
—The fighting. On the Twitters.
From the Citizens United Christmas party.
Monday, December 19
—Stop calling neo-Nazis by their PR-firm nomenclature.
—Çalling on tech companies not to help Trump build a Muslim registry. Which is something that fucking clown wants to do. Fuck that guy.
—Petition for all of Trump’s clown car full of cabinet appointments to release their tax returns.
—Twitter.
Tuesday, December 20
—Call on the state Attorney General to investigate Exxon (Rex Tillerson, Trump’s climate change denier monkey) for being climate change denier-monkeys.
—ACLU petition for lawmakers to back the fuck off off abortion rights.
—A thank you letter to President Obama for banning a great deal of ocean drilling today, something making Trump and other awful people furious.
—Hey, did you know FedEx gives huge discounts to NRA members. I sure didn’t. Here’s a petition to get the to cut that shit out.
—So much Twitter, including a long, abuse-filled (guess from which side) fight with what appears to be the 75-follower account of the Maine Androscoggin County GOP? Is that possible. Anyway, the person argued like a half-bright middle school bully and the account had 73 followers by the end.
This is just a good, weirdly optimistic sketch from the week before the eve of destruction.
Wednesday, December 21
—Petition for Trump to, you know, not deport people en masse because he’s a horrific bigot.
—Anti-Tillerson petition. Sure. Why not.
—Calling on world leaders to act to save lives in Alepppo.
—Sierra Club petition opposing Trump’s climate-denier corporate stooge Scott Pruitt as head of the EPA. C’mon.
—Petition for President Obama to declassify a torture report. Because Trump and his slavering, dead-eyed assholes just can’t wait to start torturing brown people.
—NARAL petition against Trump’s latest pig nominee Andy Puzder, wife-beater, anti-choice fanatic, and all-’round insufferable prick.
—Twitter.
This a great little movie that someone should make Mike Pence watch while he’s duct-taped to a chair.
Thursday, December 22
—Petition urging Democratic lawmakers to skip Trump’s (choking back vomit) inauguration.
—Petition from incoming North Carolina Governor Roy Cooper calling on the NC GOP to stop undermining democracy, etc. Specifically this time by reneging on their promise to repeal the bigot-bathroom law in their backward-ass state.
—Twitter, etc.
The thought process of the average Trump supporter.
Friday, December 23
Honestly I have no memory of this day. Perhaps alien abduction. Not ruling anything out. Anyway, there was Twitter, because I can’t stay off the fucking thing.
I imagine my day going something like this.
Saturday, December 24
—It’s Christmas Eve. They’re not going to do anything too fucking evil today, right? Sigh. At any rate, I had/got to drive to see my family and spend a night with my lovely wife. Tomorrow. Sigh.
—Minimal Twitter.
The Christmas you get you deserve.
Sunday, December 25
—Petition from Ron Wyden to audit the Pentagon, which was revealed to be just about as crooked in its financing as you always imagined it was.
—Change.org petition for President Obama (who’s admittedly been doing a lot of this sort of thing, thankfully) to pardon a nonviolent first-time drug offender. She’s a Native American grandmother and everything.
—Twitter. Nice to see asshole trolls don’t let the day get in the way of being scumbags.
Goal: 2017.
Monday, December 26
—Petition for Trump and his hand-picked cabinet of stereotypical plutocrat cronies release their tax returns.
—Twitter
Sam Bee elucidates how Paul LePage has made Maine a national laughingstock.
Tuesday, December 27
—Petition for Trump to back the fuck off his plans to gut environmental regulations & conservation.
—Petition from Senator Tom Udall telling Republicans to back the fuck off from gutting Social Security, Medicare, & all the other programs that keep poor people alive. For they are evil assholes, yea, verily.
—Anti-Tillerson petition.
—Donated $25 to Color of Change. Racial justice.
—The tweets.
Wednesday, December 28
—Petition to keep land-rapist Scott Pruitt away from the EPA.
—Petition for President Obama to take the US nuclear arsenal off of “hair-trigger alert status.” Basically, it’s another move to hide the matches before the mentally ill manchild very dumb and selfish people elected takes office.
—Petition to make voter registration automatic. Even—to the GOP’s horror—for POC and poor people.
—Open letter to Trump, urging him to not—crazily—gut the Clean Air Act, so we can all breathe and stuff.
—Thank you to President Obama for designating two new national monuments today. It preserves a lot of land (including a lot of Native American sites) and pisses off a lot of right-wing assholes (including the dipshit Bundy clan/klan) on his way out of office. Well done, sir.
—Donated $25 to The Wilderness Society, as donations are temporarily being matched X5 by some lovely rich person.
—Petition from the National Partnership for Women and Families, basically calling out the GOP & Trump for being woman-hating assholes.
—The Twitter.
Thursday, December 29
—Leave Obamacare alone, dicks.
—The Twitter.
Daydreaming about Christopher Walken just beating the everloving crap out of Donald Trump.
Friday, December 30
—Donated $10 to Maine Congresswoman Chellie Pingree. She’s a good one.
—Shared that “Steve Bannon is a racist scumbag” (I’m paraphrasing) petition.
—Signed another petition urging corporate stooge (also Russian stooge, stooge) Trump to not despoil the environment.
—Twit.
Trying.
Saturday, December 31
—Another petition for Trump release his tax returns, which he will never do.
— Petition calling on Senators Collins, Rand Paul, Flake and Sasse (and their GOP colleagues) to support a comprehensive, bipartisan investigation into Russian interference in the election. Weirdly, Trump is against such a thing, as is Fox News. Huh.
—Environmental Defense Fund letter to Trump to ask him, Hey, why not NOT revoking all environmental protections so you and your soulless corporate kleptocrats can scrape the last remaining beauty from the earth.
—Donated $100 more to Planned Parenthood. Someone is triple-matching donations ’til midnight. I’ll take credit for the whole $400.
...a good Gordon, Gordon 